Dear Lord: (Written March 1981)
During the “Maine cabin years”- I had a breakthrough. I found God, or God found me, and I was not embarrassed to be found naked in his gaze. Frankly, I wasn’t embarrassed to be naked in front of anyone in those days. This is a tune from my “cleanin’ house” year.
lyrics
Dear Lord
Dear lord, I apologize
It’s true I have sinned many times
I’m sorry for that time that I pissed on the post office
I was totally convinced that they were in cahoots with the CIA
It was at the tail end of a six day mescaline binge
And when I came to I realized I had stuffed my mail-slot with chicken
Dear lord, I apologize
Im sorry for that time I covered my son with leeches
I was fairly sure that it was the only way to stop Ollie North’s brainwave communications that ordered my son’s eyeballs to verbally threaten me
Dear Lord, I apologize
For that time in Topanga Canyon when I filled a sack with rocks and swung it above my head
And about the seventh time I threatened Dean Stockwell, Joni Mitchell stopped me and I barfed all down her front
Dear Lord, I apologize
To my 5th ex-wife Maria, who’s life I repeatedly threatened
You have to understand I was totally fucking loaded
Handfulls of pills who’s names I can’t remember
Mood swings a-plenty
I even wore a diaper
I tried to climb our farm house and light time on fire
I was sure I could talk to raindrops by simply using mathematics
I once made pajamas out of Betty Crocker cake mix
Please understand that whiskey didn’t help much
When I screamed to my children that santa had dreadlocks
Dear lord, I apologize
I convinced my family you could use a deer to make music
Or that time I tried to make a computer out of mayonnaise
We didn’t surf the net but my God it was delicious
Dear lord, I apologize
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